Last week I had a conversation with a woman who said she was so depressed she had no goals and she did not want to create any. (In my line of work, that is referred to as a ‘non-starter’ declaration — otherwise known as “no matter what you say, I choose not to listen.”)
As the conversation progressed, the woman went on to give an example of why maintaining a positive outlook in the face of insurmountable negative evidence is not worth the effort. The example she offered had to do with the recent passing of a 30-something friend who valiantly maintained a hopeful outlook to the end. The woman I was in conversation with was exasperated as she proclaimed, “Even with her positive outlook, she died.”
I paused, mustered up some courage, took a deep breath and replied, “So? I would rather she lived her last breath with hope than lived her last several YEARS believing she was not going to survive.”
As you might imagine, the conversation became circular — she held her position when she spoke, and I reciprocated by holding fast to my perspective (of course, all the while, I am thinking “well, science is on my side, what do you have your side, misery?” Do not fear, I did not say that, but I was thinking it!).
Whether you are attempting to help a co-worker see the possibility that their sales goals can be met, or helping another see the value in adjusting their perspective on some life situtation, all thinking comes down to choice.
To live without a goal is paramount to living without hope.
Hope does not have to be held for a total reversal of negative misfortunes. Hope just has to be held as the knowing that it is better to hope for a life with peace in your heart than to live a life without the hope of ever knowing peace. It is at such times when the hope for a given outcome is released, and in its place, the goal becomes an outcome of finding hope.
The photo on this blog was taken on a long walk on January 1, 2014. I was distracted by the brightness of one single flower surrounded by so much dormant life. A week later when I was having the “I have no goals and don’t want any” conversation, I did not attempt to convince my conversation partner I was right and she was just not seeing things incorrectly. Instead, I held the thought of this photo. I made hope my go-to goal. I chose to see a flower instead of count weeds. At that moment I could see a woman who was grieving for her friend instead of person who chose to give up hope. If you want to begin doing the same, start with the links to Heidi Grant Halvorson’s assessments from last weeks blog.
Dr. Success Challenge: Find a symbol of hope in your life today and take a photo.
Enjoy your hope photo safari.
