Don’t Die Waiting to Find Love

Enough time has passed that your 2015 intention to attract an outstanding relationship seems like the vision of a drunk party girl on New Year’s Eve, but do not despair.   You are only three steps away from finding the truest love of your life.  As we are in the month almost annoyingly devoted to love, might I suggest you:

Step 1:  Start loving yourself.

Step 2:  Start loving yourself.

Step 3:  Start loving yourself.

I am not suggesting you indulge in an egotistical selfie.  I am suggesting that before you look for lasting love with someone else, you first invest the time to love yourself completely.  Following the advice of another doctor (Dr. Phil):  We teach others how to treat us.  Investing the time to learn to love yourself completely will set the groundwork for you teaching someone else to love you in the same way.  Here is how to start.

Step 1:  Forgive the Past – Forgive yourself for every stupid thing you ever did.  Every dumb boy or girl you ever dated, every piece of candy you ever stole, and every time you were ever out of total integrity with who you want to be in the world.  A simple way to start is by making a list of everything you can think of you have ever done, force yourself to laugh at the list, then tear it up!  Now, it is really that easy.  No.  But it is a start and every great love has to start somewhere.

Step 2:  Focus on the Present – Once you have put the past behind you, the best place to put your energy is in the present moment.  Stop talking about the last bad date with anyone who will listen and start asking for new opportunities to meet people.  Revise your profile on line adding all the fun things you did in the last week.  Replace your profile photo with one of your having fun right here, right now.  Where you put your attention is where you will get your results.  If you want someone to have fun with in your life today, start adverting how much fun you are having.

Step 3:  Create your Future – Don’t die waiting for love to happen, invest your day seeing love, speaking love and creating love whether you feel like it or not.  Don’t wait for the barista to say thank you, say it first and come up with a creative addition like, “thank you for guaranteeing my day starts great.”  Changing a response will elicit different responses.  You will get noticed simply by putting a verbal hug on someone’s heart.

The best part is science supports all this self-love stuff.  The best and the brightest researchers in the field of Positive Psychology are proving that love is the experience of momentary positive emotions that increase the well-being of another and in turn cause a synchronistic response. In short, what goes around, comes around when it comes to love.  Science has also proven what we instinctively know – Love is the answer no matter what the question and forgiveness is the key difference in creating a successful life lived forward or a distressful life stuck in the past.