Apology Not Accepted

By Andrea Goeglein

Have you ever had your apology NOT accepted?

There is a lot of talk about forgiveness and why it is good for you to forgive.  When doing forgiveness work you are cautioned not to expect anything from the person you perceived harmed you. They may not care if you forgive them.  Your perception of harm is your problem not theirs.

What happens when the shoe is on the other proverbial foot.  You know you did something wrong and you want to apologize — not to be forgiven, but to take responsibility for what you did.  You make the effort, maybe even a lot of effort, and you are rebuffed.  You can apologize all you want, it is not being accepted.  Or it is being superficially accepted, but the resentment and hurt is still evident.

I have seen this happen a lot in business.  I have been on both the receiving and giving end of this stick.  I believe it is harder in business because your economic security is on the line.  Trust is hard enough, but when you do something or someone does something to you, there is the additional burden of the action affecting your financial future.  So what to do?

Dr. Success Challenge: The Challenge is simple: when you have made a mistake, apologize regardless of whether the person accepts your apology.  It is not about you, it is about becoming clear about what is the right thing to do.

Happy apologizing.  Taking responsibility is its own forgiveness.  Thank you.


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About the author

Andrea Goeglein is part organizational psychologist, part entrepreneur, and all about success—your success. She understands both the pressures you face and the dreams that inspire you. Andrea merges her experience as a business owner with her training in Positive Psychology to provide effective, efficient and challenging personal development products and services. She combines an emphasis on objective assessment with an approach that is always powered by your spirit and guided by your goals. Her professional development offerings are based in theory and backed by direct business knowledge.

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