Never has clarity been more important as when you are setting goals and asking for assistance – especially if the assistance you are seeking is from God or your universal source. I know, I know, I am using that “G” word again. Do yourself a favor and just get over it. You would not be reading my work if you did not have some belief in something greater than yourself. Unless, of course, you are a real glutton for punishment.
Dr. Success Challenge: Think of a time you set an intention, or a goal, and the result was not as you intended. Or you felt the request you stated in a prayer was not answered. Now look back on what you exactly asked for. If you used prayer, examine honestly if you were begging for a result or requesting guidance toward a desired outcome.
There are two important points I want to bring out. The first is the importance of incorporating some form of prayer, meditation, or reflective process in your daily personal development. This is not something I am requesting because I was brought up in an environment where that was taught and accepted. I bring it up because the seminal researcher in the field of well-beginning and happiness actually included the process of daily prayer and/or meditation as one of the key exercises in her book on using a scientific approach to getting the life you want.* When you have a practice tied to some belief in a greater good source, such as God, and something goes wrong, you will recover faster.
Second, be clear about what you ask for! That may seem simple but let me give you an example. A young woman was new to the practice of setting goals through the use of stating an affirmation or intention. She had a daily spiritual practice and supported her affirming with that practice. Her particular intention was around attracting a love interest who adored her. See believed she was clear on her intention because she had just come out of a relationship with a very respectable young man, but she realized that he never really adored her. From her perspective, he loved her, but she felt it was in a very competitive way instead of an adoring way.
So she was clear, her next relationship would be with someone who adored her. Well, she got exactly what she had intended. She attracted a very nice man who adored her and that was when she realized the error in her intention. You see, as much as she enjoyed and loved this young man as a person, she did not adore him the way he adored her. The relationship was not balanced in a way that could work long term.
To paraphrase her experience, “This affirmation and intention stuff really works, but you need to be careful that you are clear and complete in what you intend to attract.”
My advice: Ask, ask, ask – and invest time making sure that what you are asking for is really what you would like to attract.
*The How Of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky
Andrea T. Goeglein, Ph.D.
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