This post continues a theme started by reading Seth Godin’s blog about jerks and doormats. Being considered a “jerk” may be the opportunity we all share regardless of our natural behavioral style. Yet feeling like a doormat or being referred to as a “doormat”, I will argue, is something only some behaviors experience.
Commercial: The easiest way for you to follow this conversation is to invest 10 minutes and $46.50 and take the Everything DiSC® Behavioral Profile. If you do not agree with the results, and you talk to me personally about your total disagreement, I will most likely refund your money. That is as close to a 100% refund I will give. If you play with me, you need to take some responsibility or you are just playing in the wrong game of life success.
Cliff Notes on DiSC: The Everything DiSC® behavioral profile is based on a theory that there are four main categories of behavior that people will exhibit. Those categories are: Dominance, Influencing, Steadiness and Conscientiousness. Most people are a blend of both the categories of behavior and the intensity. Most people exhibit one or two of the styles over the others. All people could choose to adapt to a behavioral style they don’t naturally exhibit, yet that choice should be made knowing that higher degrees of stress maybe experienced. It is harder to be a way that is not natural to you.
So why do I purport that only some behaviors would report feeling or being referred to as a doormat? Think of someone who you have observed as hard-driving, results oriented, direct, and firm and always in control. Think Donald Trump. Eva Peron. Leona Hemsley. Under what circumstances could you imagine The Donald being referred to as a doormat? Each of these individuals exhibits D, or a dominant competitive behavior. If you try to wipe your feet on them, I suspect they will (or would have during their lifetimes) found a way to crush you.
Then there are individuals who are the “rock of Gibraltar” types. These are the people you can depend on to be the go-to person to get things done and not rock the boat while they do it. General Colin Powell may have exhibited this behavior during his involvement in the George W. Bush administration. I cannot say it is his natural style, but his willingness to adapt when involved with others is an example of S or steadiness, patient, adaptive behavior. In my observation, this example is also an example how that behavioral style could become a doormat.
I personally adore Colin Powell and always wanted him to run for president, yet during his tenure as Secretary of State, I learned about how outstanding qualities can be taken to an extreme and become counterproductive. That is what is known in behavioral studies as “an overextension” of a quality. It is something every behavioral style and every character value can become subject to. That is why knowing how you behave naturally and what you value is such an important aspect of your personal development. Reading and using the information in Seth’s newest book, Switch, may also be useful.
Thank you,
Andrea T. Goeglein, PhD
Dr. Success™
DrSuccess@ServingSuccess.com
http://www.YouTube.com/user/ServingSuccess
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Always giving very thought provoking topics…Thanks A.