by Andrea Goeglein
Whether you are young and focused or older and focused, there are times when someone can say something to you that just lands wrong. Then again, have you ever had someone say something that was meant to tear you down, but instead, it caused you to rise higher than you ever expected?
Dr. Success Challenge: Think back on just the last week and make a list (hopefully a short list) of times you felt someone tossed a left-handed compliment your way or maybe you remember doing the same to someone else.
What is a left-handed compliment?
It is a remark that appears to be a compliment but adds some negative observation. You may think you are being funny, and sometimes you are. However, left-handed compliments usually tell us more about what we are really thinking (or what others think about us) than we needed to share or know.
Here are some examples of left-handed compliments:
“Great report. I was surprised you got it done on time. I was expecting it to be late as usual, but you surprised me in a good way.”
“Wow, what a great idea. I can’t believe it came out of your department. Something must have changed there lately.”
“That suit looks great on you. I don’t remember you ever looking that professional.”
“That suit looks great on you. Too bad your tattoo still shows.”
More productive compliments.
“Great report.” (Enough said. Stop while you are ahead.)
“Great report. I appreciate how you have worked to improve and delivered it on time. Great all around.”
“Wow, what a great idea.” (Again, stop while you are ahead, even if you can physically feel yourself biting your tongue.)
“Your suit looks great.”
“Your suit looks great. Very professional look.”
“Your suit looks great. Very professional look. You are a great representative of our quality brand.”
Everything comes down to the language we use and how we use it. Whether we are talking to ourselves or speaking with someone else, words matter. The business of flourishing is first and foremost, the business of getting your thoughts and words MISSING A WORD HERE THAT I BELIEVE ONLY YOU CAN PUT IN. Your thoughts and words power all your success in life.
If you manage Millennials (or are a teacher or parent) this new video segment will be of great interest to you. You will hear how the seeds of interest and initial career callings can come very young. You will hear how important the words you speak to others impacts their heads, their hearts, and their life choices.
Here are the show notes from this segment of #TheSuccessSofa
If your time is limited, glance at the show notes and see what calls to you. No matter what else you watch, make sure to watch 2:14.
01:58 – Hardest teacher and biggest influence
02:14 – “#AChronic fuck up”
03:05 – The turning point
03:28 – Fighting against the hierarchy system in the music industry
03:45 – Electronic music
04:00 – We can stand together. We can fight back. We are strong.
04:27 – How do you build your career?
04:48 – Angst = Good friction
05:28 – Decided to take additional training
6:00 – Positive psychology grounded positive thinking type statements with science.
7:35 – Energy + Technical Knowledge
8:20 – Comes down to money
8:26 – Branding, how you present yourself, media.
8:35 – Reinvesting in Self
9:07 – Creating a side hustle
9:15 – Millennials building their companies and careers differently
9:23 – Awareness of taking on different streams of ways to create your livelihood
10:37 – There’s no guarantee in life
11:02 – At the end of the day, it’s what I want to do.
11:20 – Just because you’re afraid, doesn’t mean you have to not be brave enough to try it.
11:27 – The worst pain you could have is not a failure, it’s the pain of never having tried.
12:00 – Know as early as possible what brings you alive. Use those talents to keep you alive.
12:38 – Greatest outcome: Touring and a record label
13:05 – None of this is done alone.
13:42 – Have a team that has invested interest in your success
13:57 – The thing that matters most to success, is the recognition that people matter.
14:14 – It is who you surround yourself with that determines whether your life is really a success.